I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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