I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
