There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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