Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
