Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
