either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
