he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
