In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Operation Purity has been aborted
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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