Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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