Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
