No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
