New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
