Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
