The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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