i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
