Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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