hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
