is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
