new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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