A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
