He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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