lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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