You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
