wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
