coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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