so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
