is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
