I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
