She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
