i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
