Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
never play flip cup with pint glasses
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
