Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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