I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
