you guys were way drunker than both of me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
