I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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