TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
two words: eviction party
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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