Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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