Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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