and you said cock pushups were impossible
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
