This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
