Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
