god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
