32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
