Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
