I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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