Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
As shirtless as possible
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
