I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
