At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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