absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
