D3 body, D1 cock
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
